10) If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
9) No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
8) Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.
7) Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
6) No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.
5) Who needs an expensive home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
4) You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
3) No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
2) It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
1) Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
Survivor: Paramus
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? Six men will be dropped on an island named Paramus with 1 minivan and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports AND takes music, dance or lessons on both. There is no access to fast food.
Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and take care of a pet cat and dog. The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done: There is only one TV between them and there is no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
The kids vote them off based on performance. The winner gets to go back to his job.
